No one left behind......

My newly turned 6 year old never fails to amaze me. He's witty, smart, full of love & life and is always the voice of reason so when he says things that aren't regular "6 year old" conversations I try to share them. 

I've told you guys in the past that we do everything together as a family: food shopping, clothes shopping, ice-cream, to the corner store, lol, I mean anything you can think of so its not strange when we get home for everyone to rush out of the car to get in the house and relax. I'm usually the last one to get out of the car and my husband is usually the first one to get to the door to open it and bring the bags in (I move really slow sometimes, depending on if I fell asleep during the car ride or not) and I'll take my time and walk in. I've noticed my 6 year old lingering around, waiting, for me, so most of the times I'll tell him, don't wait baby go in the house with daddy, mommy is on her way in.......however.....He still stands around and waits for me. 

A couple nights ago we went to dinner and when we got back home it was a similar routine, everyone rushing to get in the house but this time the baby was asleep so my husband took him out the car and rushed him in the house and out the cold. I told my 6 year old the same thing to go inside with daddy and this time without hesitation he looked at me, with so much passion and love in his eyes and said "mommy I'm not leaving you behind. I won't leave any of us behind."  Immediately tears welled up in my eyes, he said it was so much care and concern that it moved me to tears. All the love that I had for him tripled in that one moment. He struck a note in me that I didn't even know existed. He played the very thing that I needed to remind me that God has not forgotten me as He hasn't forgotten any of you. 

"God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change.”

2 Peter 3:8-9 MSG

http://bible.com/97/2pe.3.8-9.msg

I chose the "Message" version of that scripture because it made it so plain that God's hearts desire is for none of us to be lost or "left behind". He desires us to be with Him so that we can be saved from destruction. When I think about my baby and how his little heart couldn't bear to see me walking in by myself so he waited, no matter the weather, he waited. Whether it was warm or cold, rain or snow, sleet or hail, he would wait for me, just as God waits for you. 

God's desire (a strong feeling of wanting to have something) is for you to not perish but to be with Him where you are safe and away from harm. He desires for you to be in a better place so bad that no matter you've done, He still leaves room for you to repent and come home to him. 

If you are experiencing any type of turbulence today, maybe it's raining problems in your life or you are covered in a hail storm of bills or health issues or relationship issues.......I dare you to just look up and reach your hand towards him, press towards him and let him see that you cannot walk this walk alone and as He desires to walk with you, you too desire to go on your journey with Christ as your guide. 

You will not be left behind!!

This is a True Story.......

It's been 2 years........

I could remember standing in the doorway of the triage room and my mom saying to me, "baby why are you standing here?" I told her that I didn't feel like sitting down anymore and she gently put her hand behind my back and guided me back to the bed. I woke up the next day, I was in This room that looked like a bubble and I saw my Pastor, my Elder standing at the foot of this bed that I was laying in. My husband was in a chair sitting at the top of the bed next to me, my dad was standing next to him and my mom was in the back, slightly sitting with tears in my eyes. I didn't know what was going on and as I went to open my mouth to ask a question, I could barely speak. I was hooked up to so many machines, I heard them so clearly beeping as they monitored my heart, brain waves and a ton of other things. I was able to say, "what happened?" And everyone just stared at me in disbelief, as if they didn't expect me to speak. As if they didn't know that I was going to was up. Then I heard someone say "you had a seziure last night........." And then the voice drifted off. I might have been my husband who said it or my dad or my mom.........honestly......I don't really know because I was still in shock at this seizure they said that I had and then the fact that I could barely talk, everyone looking at me so strange.......it was a lot to process. 

My husband stared at me as I laid there and later on when everyone left he told me that the doctors asked him if he had any funeral plans for me because they knew not if I was going to make it. He didn't know what to think. We had a new baby at home and 2 other children and he never saw this life without us raising them together. He held his composure but I couldn't when he told me that. I play that scene in my mind (well how I think it panned out) every now and again. Had I left this earth prematurely what would become of the things that I left. 

 

So for 3 weeks I stayed at the hospital. 2 weeks in ICU and 1 week in neurology. I had lost so much weight and even my skin color was different. I was told that I was very dark, the kind of dark that you see when someone is deteriorating from death. I was always confused and barely had an appetite. I missed my children so much and as laid in the bed day in and day out, I fought to remember them. See I had lost almost everything in that moment. Not just my memory but my sense of life, the things that I once craved, my health, my dreams, my aspiration, I had lost my sense of living.........*sigh* 

The power, the healing power of God sustained my life and when the death angel walked in the room that night, Christ stood up on my behalf. I don't even remember asking Him to save me but He did. I don't remember what I mouthed to Him but He heard me. I can't even fathom why God did what He did for me because....I don't even know a "because" I just know that I am forever indebted to Him as long as I have breath in my lungs and life in my body. 

Today is my new birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! It's been 2 years since I looked death in the face and was brought back from it. It's been 2 years of dealing with anxiety, battling depression and all the things that I don't share with the people around me. Near death experiences do that to you. Some ppl suffer Post Traumatic stress disorder, some anxiety and etc........it's  been 2 years that I lost and now thankfully, I've found. It's been 2 years but today......those 2 years are only a testament to what God can do, not just for me but for you. If He can bring me back from the dead.........what more can He do for you?? 

Don't give up! He's working it out for you too! 

Won't you join me in celebrating my 2 years of NEW LIFE, RENEWED HEALTH, GROWTH AND MOST OF ALL LOVE!!!

God....you did that!! All praises due to you!! 

This is a True story........

Details.....

Every now and again, I pop in on my blog.....as ME! :) 

Casually dressed today in Isabel Marant sneakers, Armani Jeans, Fendi T-shirt, Yves Saint Laurent and Marc Jacobs bracelet! 

Another day, another slay! Hope everyone is having a great day! *hugs and kisses* 

One man's trash is another man's TREASURE!

So for those of you who don't know, I've been a stay home mom off and on....well for all my kids life! Lol! I've stayed home with all of them for on average, the first year and a half of their lives. The baby has had the privilege of having me all of his life (he'll be 2 next month *tears) so it's definitely been a riled coaster of emotions for me. Sending them off the school, worrying about child care and things of that nature. A couple of months ago my husband decided to take on not one but two part time jobs, so he's been working around the clock and my schedule has been haywire running behind the boys, pick ups drops, school, doctors, blah! His main reason behind working so much was to help me to start up my own business. I was beyond humbled because let's face it, marriage or not, that's not something that most of us would do.  That's a lot of sacrifice and dedication.  

I started doing some research on the type of business that I wanted to open up, started a Mommies group and of course blogging more (yes I know I'm still not blogging enough lol) but I did take a step in that direction. A week or so ago I got an email from someone I use to contract programs for. He had a position available, part time for a Site Director of an after school program. Two days prior to this email, I was praying and asked God to give me direction regarding employment because even though I was working towards my business I wanted to step back into the workplace and get my mind and self accustomed to working again. Not only was the email a prayer answered BUT it was also a great opportunity because one part of my new business would be after school programs. This would give me the opportunity to gain the start up knowledge I needed for my own program and access to funding information and so on (I keep telling you guys, GOD IS THE PLUG). So I accepted the job offer and today they sent me to a training class in the city. 

Due to the location of the training, I decided to take the subway instead of driving. Geez........what was I thinking? Now hear me out, I rode the subway for years before I had a car but now that I'm older, wiser and well a mom, I look at things differently, I.e. The cleanliness of the subway station and the car. I was playing around on Snapchat and went to take a video of me in the subway and oh my goodness, the view of the subway station in the background was HORRIFIC to say the least. I couldn't even finish the video!! The ceilings were gross and just YUCK. I got on the train so disgusted. I started to feel bad for ppl that had to ride the train, not realizing that ppl actually WANT to ride the train so who am I to think that ppl shouldn't ride the train? My mind had a million thoughts and all I could say is God I am not thankful enough for the things in my life that may seem minor, like my car, a roof over my head, food on my table........some people don't have that at all. I thought to myself about all the things that I hadn't been grateful for. He started to minister to me in that moment, He showed me how when I was a sinner and didn't know him I was that "trash" Until I found Him. See, I was a treasure to God, I was trash in this world but He saw my potential, He created me for greatness. To Him, I was lost but HAD TO BE FOUND.........what I was then was not what I was destined to be. Who I was then is not who I am now. In His eyes I was seated on The right hand side of Him! 

I had to look at what I was looking at, on the subway platform different, how "I thought" the people should be differently. Just like I was lost, broken and forgotten and He took me in, cleaned me up and made me new is the same thing that He can do for you. 

I don't know how you view yourself or what you've heard about YOU! I don't know who left you and who is tormenting you. I don't know what you need know today or what dream you had that's been deferred. I don't know what you've been told and how much trash they have compared you too BUT you are not that. 

I do know that the same God that I serve TREASURES you, He wants you to come to Him and know what your worth is. I do know that despite what you've been told, my God is the AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF YOUR FATE and every wrong in your life He can right and just like me, every mess (trash) that you've been in, He can turn into your message. 

DONT YOU DARE GIVE UP!

DONT YOU DARE STOP! 

YOU ARE NOT TRASH!

YOU ARE HIS TREASURE! 

This Is A True Story.........

Pray

Because God loves to hear your voice and there is NOTHING that's too hard for Him!

Pray because God can do ALL things. 

Pray because your life needs God 

Pray.......because He that started a good work in you will continue it! 

He has to hear you so He can speak to you as well! 

Pray......because your family needs it!!!

Pray.........because God is worth the challenge! 

Yes, the challenge! He challenges us in His word....He said "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" so even if you cannot see it He can see it and He's saying that He can do it for you! 

This is A True Story........

God is INTENTIONAL...

Ever so often i sit down and I think about my life, where I am and where I should be or where I want to be. Never do I think that where I am is where I am suppose to be and God does things in His timing, in His season and for HIS WILL!!!!

I'm sitting here on my couch, crying, YES, crying, at my life, at my "feelings" about my life. At the people in my life. At the hurt in my life and blah blah blah blah 

And like My Savior is, He won't leave me hanging, in the midst of my despair, I hear a still small voice say "God is intentional". Of course I know what intentional means but I grab the dictionary anyway and it says "deliberate, done on purpose, premeditated, purposeful...." 

And immediately the scripture "Before you were formed in your mothers womb I KNEW YOU approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Jeremiah 1:5 AMP

I'm crying again....

Because it's that kind of love that will bring you out. It's that kind of love that sets you apart from someone else. It's that kind of love that is intentional, done on purpose, so premeditated that even if you are at the bottom, the end of the rope, it pulls you out and put you back on the "predestined" path that was already designed for you. 

DONT GIVE UP! Keep fighting. Keep pressing. Keep trusting. "For I know my plans for you, they are GOOD ONLY" He said. 

I still have tears in my eyes but I have faith in my heart so don't judge how you feel as an indicator of where you are. You are NOT your feelings!! 

This is a True Story........

Sometimes less is really more

Contrary to popular belief I don't always dress like I'm going to a gala lol...there are days when the less I'm wearing, the better I actually feel! Simple style is the best because it's classic, it's fashion, it's YOU! I received so many compliments today and all I did was throw on something to take the kids to the barbershop but I didn't want to look like I just rolled out of bed either! I mean, let's be honest, when you are juggling kids, a household and YOU, it's not always the first thing you think of (looking cute) but it should always be the thing you strive for because regardless of how hard you work and who looks at you and "whatever" the first thing they will see is how you have presented yourself to them.

Walking across the street, my photographer caught, what to me, was the money shot...........

Simple black Jcrew Tee, Gold Jcrew oxfords, YSL and Marc Jacobs bracelet, Jbrand denim, Gucci tote and Sunnies. 

I pointed that out because looking at it you wouldn't even be able to tell because as I first stated, less is really more. 

So to all my Mommies on the go, all my working women, sisters that are chasing after whatever you're chasing after, don't forget YOU! You deserve to look great! 

I came, I saw, I conquered! 

This is a True Story....