An Ode to "My Mother"

I'm not sure how many people know this about me so if you are new to my blog I'll start off by explaining. I don't know my mother. My biological mother that is. I was raised by my father and as odd as that may sound, it is very true. 

See all my life he was all that I knew. Unlike most of my friends, I didn't have the late night cries with my mother or have her there when I got my first period. I didn't have anyone to talk to when I first had my heart broken nor did I have her there to help me pick out a prom dress BUT believe me when I tell you, my father did the very BEST that he could and he raised me the best way he knew how.  He loved my mother and growing up I realized that I was created out of a love that was real and regardless of why she left or what made her walk away, I know that in that moment, my father wanted me to "be". 

About 10 years ago I gave my life to Christ, I started going back to church and learning who God really was. Shortly after I became pregnant but unfortunately I went into labor very early and gave birth to my first child when I was only 5 and a half months pregnant. It was rough for us. I was young and could not understand what was happening or should I say, had happened to me.  My Pastor prayed for me and my family and at that point she put someone on assignment to pray for me every time that she could. Some time went on and befriend two ladies at my church and we grew a very unique relationship. It was as if we were designed to be more family than friends. We became sisters and I grew really close to their mother. She nurtured and loved me like her own. Called me and checked on me almost every day sort of like how I do with my dad. I shared my pain with her and opened up my heart to her. She prayed for me every chance that she got and she taught me how to build on that relationship that I had with the Lord. See this woman, she didn't birth me but she knew me. I mean she knew me. She knew my heart. She knew my pain. She knew my tears and listen she even knew when I wasn't taking her the truth. She could speak to my spirit without saying a word to me and I would hear what she was saying. It sounds weird. I know. But the connection we had in the spirit I knew that only God could have done. 

In 2005, I got pregnant and like the last time the devil tried to take my son but this time he lived. He was born at a whopping 1 pound 15 ounces and stayed in the NICU for 3 months.  This woman that I speak of came to visit my baby every day of those 3 months. She prayed with him. She called him by  name and spoke his very being into existence. This was a rough time for means she was there EVERY step of the way.  When he came home she was the first person to hold him. I could still remember the doctors saying that he could not be around people for the next few months but his first night home I was so clumsy so inexperienced but I got in my car and drove to her house. She held him, like one of her own. She cried and held on to him as if she knew what he would be. That day will forever be etched in my heart. 

Four and a half years later I gave birth to my second child. I suffered Congestive Heart Failure right after and again, this angel that God had sent to me was with me every step of the way. She even knew that I was pregnant even before I did and now here she is praying for my life and keeping watch over my children. 

Our bond is something that I cannot explain but I know that I know that I know that It is the will of God for her to be in my life at this time in my life. 

Another 4 years later I give birth to my LAST child (lol) and this time it was fatal. After I had him, 5 days later, I woke up in the morning with the worst headache of my life. Here I am, 3 children, one a new born, and I literally feel like I am knocking on deaths door. I call my angel and she accompanied me to the hospital. I was told that I had a blood clot in the brain and had to be transferred. When I was transferred I had a massive seizure and I have no memory after that. I woke up the next day and the first faces I see is my husband and of course my angel (my father was there as well and my Pastor and Elder) but those two faces were the first ones I saw when I opened up my eyes.  See while I was in the ER she was there with me and as unbearable as the pain was she held my hand. She rubbed my head. She pat my back. She prayed. She sang. She talked to the Lord BUT most of all she was there with me. 

I didn't have my mother as a child but I gained a mother as an adult.  She was the woman that my Pastor had placed on assignment to pray for me way before I even knew who she was. She became the woman that my biological mother could not be. I thank my mother for giving birth to me and even now I can say for leaving.......had she not left........I would have never known the woman I call my mother today. 

Mothers have a certain nurturing ability to them that most people would not understand. They can change the atmosphere of your heart and soothe the aching of your soul. 

Today is her birthday and I want to thank Her for being who she is in my life. 

This is an Ode to my Mother.......Virginia......had I not met you when I did I don't know where I would be today. You are beyond what some call amazing and you have given me hope during so many times when I had lost it. Your prayers have sustained me and your love have blessed me. You are the NATURE AND CHARACTER OF GOD IN ACTION. I LOVE YOU, from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet and because of you I am a better woman today. 

This is an Ode to my mother......Virginia.....you are the very thing that I needed that I never had. This is an Ode to my mother......the woman I cried for as a child. You are love, you are joy, you are life and your heart is undoubtedly the most amazing heart that I've come across......

This is an Ode to my mother......Thank you and Thank God for you! Happy Birthday Mommy, I'm so honored to be able to call you that. 

This is a True Story.........

Maverick Monday's

According to dictionary.com, A Maverick  is "a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates" 

I realize that I've shyed away from the very thing that was apart of me for so long and this morning my sister friend (and also my favorite blogger who retired by the way) said the most amazing thing to me. She said: "Sis when you undervalue what you do, people undervalue who you are. You're too great"  she said that because she gave me a compliment on my sense of style and I was afraid to publicly acknowledge it. I had been hurt before, tremendously (publicly at that) and shunned for who I was. I am a woman of excellence and "style" and the style part had been made out to make me feel like "who do you think you are" kind of feeling..........and not that I'm trying to revisit that, trust me I'm still working on burying the emotional scars it's caused me (especially because of who said it and where it was said) but I used it to address what she said to me. How many of us shy away from who we really are because someone lied to us about our own truths? How many of us shy away from the GREATNESS that we have been created to be? Some of you are born with innate abilities and amazing talents but someone talked you out of who God created you to be. The bible says "don't you know that Ye are gods????"

 Bruhhhhhhhhhhh, do you know how serious that is? The type of power and tenacity you have been given to help change lives, not just around you but in your communities and eventually this nation. You have to walk in your God given destiny and be a Maverick to this world, take an independent stand apart and ARISE TO WHO YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED TO BE!! 

I am a woman of excellence AND style, one of intelligence and integrity. I lead and never follow. I am confident in who God has called me to be and who He has called me to! I was set apart for such a time as this and I walk worthy of my vocation. Not to mention I look good to be a mother of 3 and I can out style some stylist! Lol! *daps self* lol! 

Today I want you to rise up to who you are, turn away from what "they" say you are and stand on the truths that God called you to be. He said that "no weapon formed against you shall prosper and EVERY tongue rising in judgement against you will be condemned". EVERY TONGUE, so speak only that which is TRUTH about who you. 

I had to learn that what God called some to is not what He's called me to. We are all peculiar, our callings are different and the thing that He's placed in me: my passion to change the youth and my community, my love for all things fashion and my bulldog approach at protecting my children and their future at all cost is my God given work and my assignment. Who am I to say any different? Better yet how silly am I to let what was said deter me from what has been destined to BE in my life. 

Repeat after me: 

I denounce every negative word spoken over my life and cancel it right now in the name of Jesus. I speak life and that more abundantly over who I am and I press towards the high mark in Christ! I am who God has called me to be: the head and NOT the tail. I walk into my destiny with courage and the ability to fulfill my call. I am beautiful (handsome if you are a guy). I am blessed. I am powerful and I have power. I am who God says that I am" 

ARISE TODAY MAVERICKS AND BE WHO YOU ARE! 

This is a true story........

So effortless......so me!

I love this layered look and how it's not thought about.....it just IS! 

This is really a look I would put together. Leather pants under a skirt and of course a scarf to pull it together. If you know me, you know I own 9 million scarves! 

Am I my brother's keeper??

Sooooooooooooooooooooo, my son had his second sleep over this year, last night, and it was tons of fun (well for them), for me it was tons of juice passing and cookie crumb sweeping but anything to make them happy right? lol!
They played all night and in the morning they woke up playing.  My oldest son was the one that had the sleep over but my middle son follows everything that he sees his brother do so of course he was a participant in this fiesta.  A few times he came to me crying because my oldest left him out or would not include him in some of the things that they were playing with.  That annoyed me more than I wanted to admit for various reasons so at the last "Mommy, they don't want to play with me," I called him (the older son) into my room for a talk.  I let him know that his younger brother was HIS responsibility and he had a responsibility to make him feel like he was his brother and he could play with anyone that he played with.  He was to treat him the same, if not, BETTER, when he is around his friends because no one should ever have the opportunity to see him mistreat him because that would make them comfortable in doing that to his brother as well.  His friends owed his brother nothing but to respect him because they should know that this is your brother and no matter what you would keep him safe at all times.  He nodded in agreement but I knew that he understood but didn't quite understand.

Then it happened again.............

This time I called everyone to the living room and I said basically the same thing again but this time in front of all of them together: The accuser, the victim and the audience.  (The accuser - the older brother, The victim - the younger brother and The audience - his friend).
See I had to make it plain to him in front of his friend that he was going to show his brother love and kindness no matter where they are or who he's with.   That pertains to every aspect of their lives.  I may not be able to be there all of their lives but for the time that I am there, I will teach them the best way that I can and I will show them the foundational principles of a successful life.  Family is all that we have.

I was an only child growing up and so was their father.  We both never had to share or went through sibling rivalry, etc, however, we both stand firm on the belief that they will grow close and stick together.  Now, don't get me wrong, of course they have little sibling rivalry but they love each other but I also see that my oldest is coming into his own and they are 5 years apart so there are things that they will not be able to do together. The one thing that they will always have is EACH OTHER and they have to know that.

Its like what Christ taught us, to be there for our brothers and sisters, NO MATTER WHAT! No matter if we agree with them or not, or if they are wrong or right.  Correct them behind closed doors but protect them at all cost.  When He died on the cross for our sins, we were IN SIN and facing death but He took the "L"for us so that we might have life and that more abundantly.  He kept us and He saved us.  When your brother is down, do you build him up? Even if you cannot physically do it, do you pray for him? When your sister is being mocked or better yet lets talk about modern day stuff, when your sister is in the midst of the latest gossip, do you engage in the conversation or do you take a stand and walk away?? Do you tell them that you will not partake in this and cover her or do you laugh at whats being said?  *Let that sink in*

If you've answered yes to any of that then its time to check your love walk, its time to practice not only what you may have preached but practice what you have been taught.  Its time to take a stand for whats right and who's right.  My oldest son may not fully understand right now why he has to do this but the next time he feels like mistreating his brother or even allowing someone else to do that he will remember my words and stand firm on them and show that no matter what happens, I will always be my brother's keeper!!!!





This is a True Story..................

The Championship Round

This morning I had the opportunity to speak to a group of young ladies at a center for women. There was some confusion in the time frame because see I was really suppose to speak yesterday but I misunderstood the rescheduling date and thought I was up next Wednesday when I was really up today. 

I was frantic! I did not know how I was going to maneuver my day because a) I was home with the kids and b) I had some other things on my schedule that needed to get done and c) I did not want to go back on my word.  The host informed me that I could bring the kids because there is a play area for them and all I could think was "no way am I doing that" all the while that still small voice was letting me know that He was working this out on my behalf. I rushed to get me and the kids ready. I threw on some jeans, a blazer and of course some bad heels *laughs at self* 

The thing is, I work well under pressure but not this kind of pressure when you have to speak in front of an audience and your children are a part of the audience. It made me more nervous than I imagined but I pushed through and I made it there. When I arrived, 10 beautiful girls were awaiting me. I pulled out my speech and got ready to go over each word with them. As I began talking I realized that God had a different agenda, what was on my schedule was not on His schedule. He wanted me to speak to their heart and like my friend Greg told me, to the confidence that they need to be ignited in them. So i did just that. The girls went from sitting against a wall (away from me)  to surrounding me in a circle...... It opened up the floor for girl talk and that we did. They listened and it blessed me to know that I was entrusted with the lives of these girls to  speak over them. 

What looked to me today as chaos turned into my championship round. Had I not stood still, even for one moment and say "God you have to work this thing out for me" I would have told them I couldn't make it and walked away from this chance.  Moreover, my children were able to see me in action and the super mom super powers that I had were at work. 

In the midst of your chaotic life, in the middle of what seems like you cannot overcome take a moment and reach out to the one who fixes all things. Ask Him to direct and guide you at every step of the way. There is no question that is too hard for Him because He is waiting for you look to Him for instructions. "for the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord" Psalms 37:23 so in every step of your life you must ask Him who created you and the life that you are living, for His divine direction. 

Repeat after me: 

"Today, I ask you Lord to order my steps. Lead me in the path that I should follow and show me the way to go. I trust you. I know that your thoughts for me are good only and if you send me to it then you will bring me through it. I am the victor and I triumph over everything that was set to make me fall. I trust you Lord and I incline my ears to hear your instructions. Amen" 

This is a true story........

In my Father's House.....

My middle son was sick yesterday. I mean he had a real stomach virus, filled with a lot of throw up and other stuff that I wish not to even speak of. I've never washed my hands so many times. I was constantly being called to the bathroom and you couldn't help but to feel bad for him. He had so much pain behind the virus and that was what hurt me the most because I could not do anything for him. All I could do was rub his little tummy and let him know that soon the pain would go away. I'm sure you all know there is no cure for a stomach virus, you just have to let it pass.  So I watched him closely yesterday through all of this and there was something that stuck out to me the most. 

Every time the pain struck he would walk from his room to mine and just lay on my bed. My bed had been the source of some comfort for him. Ironically I was more nervous than anything because I did not want him spilling any of what had been coming out of his body on my bed (lol! I know) but I didn't, however, I wouldn't say that to him I would just ask if he didn't miss his own bed. He told me no. He just wanted to lay here and every now and again he would require a little belly rub. I did all that I could for him and trusted God with healing his little body.  He rolled around in my bed. Back and forth. He would ball up in pain, lay straight in pain or just cry from the pain. I was helpless....words, belly rubs....nothing helped. 

It brought back memories of my childhood, laying on my father's bed when I was sick or when I need to feel safe. My father's bed was the place for me and when I came into the knowledge of who God was God's secret place became the place that I would run to for comfort, solace, healing, restoration and more. 

See, "In my Father's house are many mansions, if it were not so, I would have told you..." (John 14:2), what I find in my Father are all the things I need to sustain myself in this life as the same way, to my sons, they find all they need in their parents: in our beds, our advice, homes and instructions. That scripture went on to say "I go to prepare a place for you .." So even after I've found peace in my Father he wants so much more for me that He is preparing even more for me. 

There is a peace that we find in our parents or guardian. A sense of protection and well...that they just have it all together and can fix anything. It's a certain confidence that we find in them and last night, as I watched him sleep, at peace in my bed, I prayed over him. That was the first real sleep he had all day and that sleep came about in the place that he went to when he needed peace and comfort from the things that have been causing him discomfort.  

When was the last time you went home to visit your parents? Lay in their bed? Talk to them about life? Or cry to release the pain? If your visit is overdue and you are in a season of discomfort or pain, you will find relief in your Father's house!! 

"Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened.." -Matthew 7:7 

Go back home today! 

This is a true story......