Secure Your Seat

"With loving kindness have I drawn you....." Jeremiah 31:3

We took the kids on a two day visit to Sesame Place, just to get a little break, let them have a little fun and escape all the madness that has been hitting the media lately.  On the first day we arrived a little later than expected so we started the day late which wasn't a part of the plans. Needless to say it was off to a fun start. Since we went on a week day, the park closed at 8 and Sesame usually throws their parade an hour before closing time. A little bit before 7, we decide to walk towards the entrance to get a good seat and view so the kids could watch the parade. We spot a nice bench and decided to sit there. My husband took the kids to get something to eat while I stayed to "hold the seat down."  I have the littlest one with me so 2 minutes in he's already getting antsy, wanting to be with his dad and brothers. I am constantly watching over him as he tries to run off, as well as "guard" this seat with my life (because in amusement parks they are really hard to come by) lol! 

As I'm doing this and driving myself crazy , three women with a baby in stroller walks by. The one pushing the stroller may have been about my age and the other two women looked like they could be her mom and maybe an aunt or something. They stop at this precious seat that I am holding on to but I really didn't pay much attention to them. A minute later one of them beckons to the younger woman to sit and as I saw that I gently said "I'm sorry. I'm holding this seat for my family."  She responds with a head nod and an ok and I continued to do what I was doing with 'baby busy body.' 

I finally get him to sit next to me on the bench and I glance over at the women with the baby stroller and a sudden sadness came over me. Why did I tell them no? Why didn't I just allow them to sit there? I started to feel horrible. What did I do? I could hear the Lord speaking to my heart and I started repenting. "God im sorry...."  As I'm saying that I hear the boys laughing, running up to me with food in hand and they proceed to sit next to me on the bench. As I look at them laughing and eating, I started feeling even worse. What type of message am I sending to my children? They are boys who should have been standing while these women sat down. Why didn't my husband pick up on this either? Was it that important to secure this seat?

See, here's the thing. I really made a bad judgment call. We have gotten so accustomed to fighting for everything that we had that we fought for our "right" to keep that seat but there were so many things wrong with this picture. I didn't think anything of it and neither did he until GOD convicted my heart. These were women, two in which were older women, and to make matters worse the idea of racism and prejudices started plaguing me especially it being the day after Alton Sterling was murdered. The women were Indian and now the idea that this black woman was "acting up" started to play in my head. They never once showed me a bad face but they looked over at me a few times and I ASSUMED that was what they were discussing amongst each other. I began crying inside for so many reasons. For not teaching my sons the right way, for not getting up and giving them the seat, for not showing God's love and being kind.............FOR NOT............for not doing what should have been the first thought for me to do. 

So many of us have made bad choices in life and we sit on our "benches" and cry the way that I did. We are so afraid to get up and just say "I'm sorry, I messed up" because we fear the response of the person or even the response of ourselves. I wanted to go over to them and say that I'm sorry. I wanted to tell them that I really made a bad call and that wasn't my intentions. I wanted to tell them that I messed up, that it was just a seat and I should have just allowed them to sit there. I wanted to say that it had nothing to do with culture or race, it was just a bad call. I wanted to say that but I was embarrassed. I wanted to say that but I was afraid......afraid of their responses. 

When you hear God talking, when you feel him tugging at your heart, respond to him..........He knows what He's doing and even the more what you should be doing. 

To the women, by the bench, on Sesame Place, maybe this post will cross your path one day, maybe someone you know is reading this and will share this story with you.  If you ever see this, I'M SORRY! In the moment I wasn't strong enough, wise enough or secure enough to say that I made a bad judgment call.  I watched you, as you all gushed over the baby, I saw her little face light up. I saw the disappointment in 'Grandma's face' when I denied you access to something that wasnt even mine.  I missed the mark but thank you for not calling me out in my wrong and allowing me to see for myself what I did wrong.

Maybe some of you reading this wont think its anything wrong with what I did because I had my own children to look out for but GOD thought that what I did was wrong, so much that He tugged at my heart and made me see it.  I want to be the change that I am praying for and since it starts with me, I want to say this to those of you reading.  Today, do something nice for someone, do something that you would not normally do.  Not the regular holding the door or giving a compliment but do something "ExtraOrdinary" and watch God move for you.


















This Is A True Story...........................